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Youngstown OhioA John Waters Christmas
Published: 09 November, 2004
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Youngstown Ohio I wanna wish everybody Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, Have a Nice Time!

This CD apparently features records from John Waters' Christmas record collection. They seem to be recorded directly from old records, because some of them are rather scratchy. Most of these records are pretty rare, probably on account of the fact that they aren't very good. I'll go over the CD track by track.

1. "Fat Daddy" is really Santa Claus, he says. Bizarre and stupid.
2. Tiny Tim did a better version of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" on his Christmas album.
3. "Christmas Time is Coming" is a pretty good acapella doo wop song that is reminiscent of "Daddy's Home".
4. "Happy Birthday, Jesus" is an awful, corny recitation by a little girl.
5. "Here Comes Fatty Claus" is a mildly amusing, somewhat vulgar, novelty song.
6. "Little Mary Christmas" is another corny recitation, this time by the DJ who collaborated with Brian Wilson on some of his early songs.
7. "I Wish You a Merry Christmas" is a decent, early '60s style R&B number.
8. "Santa! Don't Pass Me By" is a mediocre country ballad.
9. "Sleigh Ride" is not even by the "real" Chipmunks, it's by the '80s revival version.
10. "Sleighbells, Reindeer and Snow" is badly sung by what sounds like a little girl.
11. "First Snowfall" is a forgettable instrumental featuring the theremin.
12. "Santa Claus is a Black Man" features a little boy badly singing a song about how Santa Claus looks like his dad.

There you have it. It's not good, but I suppose it has some "camp" entertainment value.

Youngstown Ohio Oh The Christmases We Used To Know?

If one wants to hear the wackiest Christmas collection, look no further. Take a listen to A JOHN WATERS' CHRISTMAS. It is, indeed, a big snowball full of wacky, tacky and horrific songs. However, this may not be the Christmas collection for every family member, hence the parental advisory warning due to the tune, "Here Comes Fatty Claus."

Waters' collection goes beyond the old tunes that we all know so well. However, he adds a few familiar favorites with a little spin and dementedness - Tiny Tim's version of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" and The Chipmunks' "Sleigh Ride." Speaking of demented, the songs on the CD bear similar reminders to late night listeners of the Dr. Demento Show or the hall of fame of Christmas tackiness, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." With that in mind, there are a few gems in the collection, such as the country western feel of "Christmas Time Is Coming (A Street Carol)" by Stormy Weather and the Motown-ish sounding "I Wish You a Merry Christmas" by Big Dee Irwin and Little Eva of "The Locomotion" fame, which will get you in the Christmas groove. Where will you hear the touching "Little Mary Christmas" by Roger Christian? With all its 1950s or early 1960s storytelling about the ill fated, this is the poignant tale of Mary the orphan who wishes for a family for Christmas; the Nashville-like tones are a delight to hear. By far, the highlight of the CD is the opening track, "Fat Daddy" by Fat Daddy himself who tells us who the real Santa Claus is, and the doll-like vocals of Little Cindy and her "Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child's Prayer)".

The only unfortunate aspect of the CD is the lack of extended liner notes that make reference to the release date of each song. However, Waters' own notes are quite hilarious to read. A JOHN WATERS' CHRISTMAS is as Christmassy as one can get. If you're looking for a little laugh from all the shopping and the Merry Christmas debates, Waters' CD provides an alternative to the different versions of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" or "Jingle Bells". So, get the Yule log burning, put your dancing shoes on, indulge in a little eggnog, and enjoy.

Youngstown Ohio Happy Holidays...

...from the clearly insane Mr. Waters...this dude truly ain't hooked up rite, as we'd say down South...faves from this collection are the creepy "Happy Birthday Jesus", the scurrilous "Here Comes Fatty Claus" and last, but not least, "Santa Claus is a Black Man"...This is the perfect pick me up for any X-mas party. Trust me, your friends and family will not have heard these highly peculiar carols...

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