Excellent resource for dealing with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Great help for understanding BPD behavior and how to deal with it.

this book has proven to be an excellent resource for family members and co-workers who have expressed some frustrations in their relationships with individuals with BPD. it provides helpful background information to help people understand the problem and conceptualize it. it provides realistic exercises and suggested approaches that usually seem to be very helpful in relating with individuals with BPD. if one book to provide, i prefer this book over the other eggshell book in that it is better received, more understandable, and more useful. some patients' loved ones take it and hide it for a while as they begin reading it. almost all find that eventually it is most effective when there is real cooperation between partners on learning new, more effective ways of relating. i've given out at least one dozen copies of this book and it is very popular. i believe it is well worth the price, new, given the tools and hope that it can provide.

This book may be an excellent resource for many people in a relationship with someone who has BPD - but it wasn't very helpful for me. BPD is a disorder with many variations (a person only needs to meet five out of nine criteria to be diagnosed), and although the authors do a good job of outlining the different types of BPD in the first couple of chapters, all their advice seems focused on borderlines who rage, are abusive and manipulative. I found little in this book to help me cope with my girlfriend's self-injury, suicide attempts, clinginess and dissociation.

I have two other reservations about the Stop Walking on Eggshells books. The first is that they seem to encourage the worrying trend of people "diagnosing" their loved ones with mental illnesses - something only a mental health professional is qualified to do. Kreger claims to be the ex-partner of someone with BPD, yet her ex has never been diagnosed with the condition - she just suspects he may have it. Secondly, the books are very negative about people with BPD, seeming to assume that they never admit they have a problem, try to seek help, or work on their issues. From participating in online communities, I know many people with BPD who not only do all these things but are making tremendous progress, and in some cases have even recovered. I understand the importance of accepting that your BPD friend or family member may never change, but please don't tar all borderlines with the same brush!

Before buying this book, I suggest reading the back cover of its sister volume, "Stop Walking on Eggshells". If the description there sounds like your relationship, you'll probably gain a lot from reading this book. If not, look elsewhere. A book I found far more helpful was "Allies in Healing" by Laura Davis.

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